Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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