Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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