Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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