i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
