we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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