He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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