$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
