A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
