dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
