there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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