i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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