He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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