Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
