Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
