So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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