No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
