Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So much rum. So many feels.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
