You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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