Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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