so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
