I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have demons in me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
