she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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