I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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