I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
