But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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