Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize