when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize