Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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