I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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