that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
