I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
