Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
