drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
