Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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