i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize