yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm eating all of the evidence.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
