I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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