Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
