butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
