I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
