i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i need some magic done to my vagina
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
