Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
