i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
