I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize