She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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