pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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