i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize