And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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