therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
