Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
