While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
