I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
