How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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