maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
