Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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