I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
this hospital has no fireball
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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