I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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