please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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