Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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