Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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