Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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